The Number One lesson I Have Learnt About Finances- Don't Listen To Experts, Listen To Yourself.

Many people want to be financially free. Many desire to be able to physically walk into Walmart, McDonald's, Shoprite, or log into Amazon.com, eBay.com, Konga.com, Jumia.com, and Alibaba.com, pick or click on whatever (and everything) they want, pay for it without sweat and enjoy life to the fullest.

But the reality is that only very few people- maybe 20%, in the world today can do that. Worse still, far less people will ever be able to achieve that freedom before they die. And why is that? THEY LISTEN TO 'EXPERTS' ON MONEY AHEAD OF THEMSELVES.


There are cobblers who are financially free. There are bar tenders who are financially free. There are baby sitters who are financially free. There are nurses, authors, painters who are financially free.

And there are lawyers who are in debt. There are surgeons, accountants who live from pay check to paycheck. There are stock brokers who can't survive the next six months without a job.

Which do you want to be?

Ok I admit that my title is brazenly, blatantly daring and nonsensical at first reading, but this is what I mean - you need to listen to what YOU tells YOU about your finances before YOU listen to someone else. Or better, you need to listen to what your finances tell you about you before you listen to others.

I recently bought Steve Harvey's bestseller 'Act like a lady, think like a man', for my lady, and while reading it, she agreed with Steve on the fact that generally, men's mood take a turn for worse when they don't have money. Steve noted that money, or the lack of it, affects the way a man behaves because of a man's need to protect, provide and preserve his family. A man defines his capability and worth around his net-worth/salary. And when he can't meet up financially, it affects him adversely and it shows.

And unfortunately for men again, most women, at least Nigerian women, further value men for their salary or net-worth.
So you see already that a man without good control of his finances is judged negatively, first by his own mood and then by others. He knows he needs to get a good job and effectively manage his cashflow.

But how does a woman react when she doesn't have money? When a woman does not have money, generally she feels sad but not as terrible as a man feels. She just knows she needs to either get a job or get a man- a rich man. Unless she is a mother, she doesn't really think of managing her cashflow, because she doesn't see that the way she spends is the main reason why she is broke.

So why do I say you should listen to yourself before anyone else, including the experts?
I say so because no one really knows you like you do. You may deny it. You may avoid it. You may even pretend. But deep down you know what makes you really happy. Only you knows what makes you feel sad, and loved, and appreciated, and energised, and human. And you are the one that can say what you really want in life- not an expert.

When you have money, the way you spend it will help confirm to you your personality, your present mindset to money, your flaws and your strengths. Yes,your  money reveals what truly is in your heart, the way no expert can. And though I admit that some experts help us see this in us, if you don't first realise it yourself (self-awareness), no expert can do that for you.

You have to know yourself and then listen to yourself. If you have not read Ralph Waldo Emerson's essay on self reliance, read it. Here is a summary of the essay 'Self Reliance'.

Money cannot make you happy if you are unhappy with yourself, deep down. While it can improve your circumstances and comfortability, it won't correct whatever fault or flaw you have in your personality. It will only reveal it further. Don't wait for an expert or pastor or guru to help you correct it, or to perform a financial miracle for you. Identify now what your finances are SCREAMING to you about what you need to change about your wealth mindset and spending habits. And change it.

What do really want your money to be invested in? Is it education, health, other people, eradicating poverty, churches/religion, or shoes? What do you have a passion for? That is what you should start investing your time and money in, not what one expert says will yield 100% in 100 days. If you don't understand stocks, or real estate, or gold and you put your money in it because an expert says it will yield so much, it will only leave you confused and frustrated at best, or make you a fool at worst, if you don't really have a passion for any of those.

It is called personal finances because it is your PERSONAL finances, so listen first and foremost to you, before any expert.