18 Nov 2014

Show Love, Not Cash; 7 Romantic Ideas To Show Love In A Relationship And Not Be In 'Debt' (As A Result)


It is common knowledge that when a person is in love, it is hard to hide. There is  this glow that radiates around a person in love. When you are in love, you just seem happy always and life seems so good and perfect. lol

If you have not experienced that emotion, I feel so sorry for you. But not to worry, find a cute pet, maybe a dog or a cat and shower your love on it. It will bring you a little close to having and experiencing the emotion.  (I'm very serious oh! lol)

In my article on why your finances are more important to your relationship than sex, I showed that statistically, your relationship or marriage is likely to break up due to poor financial management than due to sex. So it follows that apart from discussing your financial goals together, and planning your financial future together, couples should find, from time to time, ways to save more and spend less.

I want to share with you some 'priceless' tips to show your lover that you are in love with them and truly care, and not spend too much in the process.

Image: betterwallpaper.com

1. Go out of your way to show you truly love them by setting up a romantic dinner, cooking their favorite food for them YOURSELF (even if it takes you having a chef in the house if you don't know how to cook, lol). Then invite him/her over without prior notice, or do it as a surprise on their busiest, most stressful day of work, if you are married.
Do this  without prior notice, especially when your lover was not expecting it -maybe on your anniversary, birthday, etc (even if, especially if he/she has just annoyed/offended you).

The idea is to show that you are thoughtful and will go out of your way to impress them, especially if you are a guy that does not cook yourself normally and since it does not cost much to cook at home instead of eating out, you will be saving a lot of cash. 

2. Wash his car for him if you are a lady (you could do it together), or wash her hair and shampoo it for her (if you are not a hair stylist though). Or just do something your spouse knows you HAVEN'T DONE/CANNOT do for them normally, lol. Do this without prior informing them

I really like this idea. The togetherness the action will bring especially if it was a surprise-surprise, will leave a glow in both of your hearts and always bring a smile to your faces for a long time to come. It saves the other person the money they would have spent in the car wash or salon.

3. Organise a surprise birthday party after work hours, by inviting people over that s/he has not seen in a long while on his/her birthday. The emphasis not on a big party oh, but on the surprise. Let him/her come in to a lot of friends, family and neighbors saying HAPPY BIRTHDAY ...! (Yes it is possible even in Nigeria)

I organised a surprise 21st birthday for my sweetheart in 2010 and I still can't forget the daze on her face that day when she saw everyone gathered for her. When she was going to retaliate, she had my very good friend do the same for me far-away from home in Kano on my birthday this year. It was a very busy day at work so I came back late, and was already thinking of my night PP (private practice) that I had to resume for. I was so dazed when I saw fellow corpers from other LG who come around because someone asked them to give me a surprise birthday. It helped our relationship become stronger.

4. Buy her her favorite drink, chocolate or snack, cuddle together and watch her favorite film at home, or spend the evening together doing what the other suggested (even if you don't normally like to do that), and be truly present even if you have work or school the following day to think of. You could also follow her to make her hair at the salon, or follow him to watch a football match or just do anything you would not normally do alone, without them.

The idea is to give your time/spend your busy evening with someone you truly care for, because you care about their feelings, and you want to spend time with them, and not only, always cash. 

5. Take him/her to go visiting relatives of yours the other has never met. Or tell them a secret you have NEVER told anyone, like seriously.

The idea is to let them more into your life in a fun and inexpensive way. But don't scare them by saying something like, "Honey, I want us to go and meet my aunt at the other side of town. She is the only one left whom you have not met." Say something like. "Honey, there is a surprise person in my life, very dear to me that you have not met, and I want you to meet them". Create fun tension, not scary tension. Get it?

6. Give them a massage without expecting sex or any more 'physical' contact in return (at least immediately, if all they want is just a sensual massage). This is particularly for guys who will think 'why should I be turned on for nothing?' lol. A lady could really compliment her man without wanting or having a favor at the back of her mind. (But why is it that you can almost tell when a lady wants something, especially a monetary favor, from you?!)

The idea is to give something really worthwhile without expecting anything at all in return, especially if they don't want to reciprocate the gesture immediately. Don't get used to giving because you want to reap...immediately. lol

7. Shelve the gifts for a common financial goal. Instead of going out on your anniversary or buying the other a special gift, you could both agree to put the money into a savings account towards a common project you are both working on. Or you could instead make for them some gift yourself, at home. Get creative and do something with your hands and lazy thoughts, instead of with your cash.

The idea is to really save. I hope you got it. You are purposely shelving gifts for a greater, common goal, even if you or your better-half's primary love language is 'receiving gifts'.

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